Dealing with depression: The battle never ends

For as long as I can remember, my husband has been a huge fan of Robin Williams. I've surprised him with two shows (a huge feat, considering both were in Indiana!) and we've seen practically every movie he's made.

The news Monday of Robin Williams' death hit hard in our home. But not for the reasons you might imagine.

For nearly a year (officially) but longer in reality, we have dealt with the roller coaster of depression.

The reality is, no matter how hard we try to control it, depression is an illness. And like any other chronic condition like diabetes, some days are better than others. And like any other chronic illness, depression can have its ups and downs, regardless of you being faithful to your medication or treatment.

In the months since my husband began medication therapy, we've had my husband slowly return to "normal." But the reality is there is a new "normal.' He's never truly returned to his "old self." Instead, we've learned to love him and his new temperment -a little quieter, a little more resigned - but continue to embrace the man who loves his family with all his heart.

We've dealt with a stretch of lows - a string of down weeks, peppered in with what we call "bad days." Being injured with a rotator cuff injury didn't help it. Being limited physically easily impacts your emotional health, especially if you have someone as independent in spirit as my husband. I can so easily see how someone with a chronic health problem - such as recovering from heart disease, such as Robin Williams was - could be brought down by the realities of their physical health.

I have no great answers for those who love people who battle depression on a daily basis. Simply pray. Pray with them, pray for them. And open your hearts and arms to them, even when they say they don't need it. Because as humans we simply do.

Learning to live with depression: Our family's journey

Nearly three months ago, I had the worst moment of my life. My husband - after months of my worrying - opened up for the first time about the deep depression he was battling.

But to this day, I'm grateful. I'm grateful that he realized he needed support. I'm grateful he saw his physician to get medical attention, and that he didn't give up when his first medication didn't work for him. I'm grateful he sought the help of our EAP program, and he was brave enough to share with his boss his struggles.

I wish seeking out help for depression meant you flipped the magic switch and that things have become automatically better. And many days, it has. I so much more appreciate the days when my husband plays with the kids and I hear them giggling in the next room.

But I still brace the days for the calls when he tells me he's having a "bad day" - when the medications aren't working with his body's chemistry and he can't function as well as normal.

Getting through depression as a family is, truly, a family affair. Having tough talks with little kids who might not understand what daddy is struggling with is not easy. Keeping the support of managing the household, when you're trying to lift up your loved one - is a challenge.

But you can get through it. Day by day, hour by hour.  I know; my friends whose husbands have quietly suffered know too.

It takes prayer. And patience. And persistence.

If you're struggling in your family with someone with depression, please know I am thinking of you!!!