What I learned from cheating on my daughter's birthday party

Birthdays in our home have been known as the event. Each year, the kids choose a theme, and I brainstorm crazy ways for the kids to celebrate. It's always within our small budget, and it's creative, and it's a house filled with happy kids.

We've done rock star parties, luaus, dance parties, Fancy Nancy parties, even a Jedi training party for the magical sixth birthday.

Home birthday parties in our family evolved to the point that our neighbor friend asks her mom what she should wear each year. Seriously.

But this year...was different.

We had planned a sleepover for next month. My daughter wanted a Harry Potter theme. Down to broom races in the backyard (her idea). And I had just a bit of fun researching Harry Potter-themed recipes online.

Then the unthinkable happened. We had two injuries within three days - my husband in a sling and my daughter on crutches. My house was already not party-ready by any estimation. And my daughter was feeling pretty puny from her knee sprain. Since our traditional summer fun was out the window, why not bite the bullet and have a party outside the home?

I wound up renting a room at the local frozen yogurt shop. For $50, I had yogurt and toppings for the group, a room to ourselves for nearly two hours, and balloons. We kept the event simple - played one of her favorite CDs, brought out her jewelry making supplies, nail polish and face paint, and let the girls have their fun.

In other words, in my mind, I cheated on my daughter's birthday party. I caved in. I went corporate instead of homemade.

And you know what? No one was disappointed.

No one cared that it wasn't the event. Don't get me wrong, themed parties are fun, but they are a lot of work. Sometimes, kids just want to get together though and be kids. They giggled when they played spin the bottle with nail polish. They made jewelry and talked with each other. And strangers became friends by the end of the afternoon.

Kids just want to have their time, not want everything planned and packaged for them. Like the year we had my son's party on a obscenely warm December day, and instead of playing the planned stuff, they had an impromptu soccer game in the backyard.

While planning activities is fun, you do have the internal pressure to squeeze them in just because you planned and purchased the supplies. And as a parent, you have to let that go, and simply enjoy the moment.

Will this change the landscape of how we handle birthdays in our home? Perhaps. I will never be a parent who shells out money for a party at Monkey Joe's, Incredible Pizza or the Children's Museum, but maybe, just maybe, I may be open to not having the party-ready house one afternoon and let someone else do the cleaning for me!

Treat boxes: DIY from party cups

My daughter's birthday is fast approaching, and, following an accident that left her on crutches, we abandoned the idea of our traditional at-home parties with games in lieu of (gasp) a party at the local frozen yogurt store.

We had already purchased cute little nail polishes for the girls to do pedicures (thanks to an amazing clearance sale at Justice - 60 cents each!) and I needed some way to package them since we were no longer doing pedicures. 

Plastic gift bags just weren't an option in my book. I struggle with the idea of tossable cellophane bags. 

Instead, I turned to Pinterest and got a brainstorm. My daughter is into pink and blue - and cheetah prints - so this was a perfect solution.

Here's how I pulled off the look: 

1. I'd purchased extra paper party cups, so my packaging was 90% there! (I used 8 or 9 ounce paper party cups).
2. I trimmed off the rim off the paper cups.
3. I made eight cuts, about 1 - 1 1/2 inches down, from the top of the cup. It helps to loosely fold in half, make the cuts on each fold, then turn and cut, repeat. 
4. I put the gifts in the cup.
5. Each of the eight cuts were folded over each other and finally held together with clear tape.
6. The flowers on top were made with my Cricut (thanks, Mom!) and adhered with the sticky circles repurposed from the nail polish packaging. Alternately, stickers could be used on top.

I though it was a great grown-up but fun alternative for my pre-teen to be!

Pinning the perfect party

My daughter is known for her birthday parties. It is the one day of decadence we have in our kids' lives.

Let it be known there are no outlandish locations, no bounce houses in our backyard. Instead, our at home parties are themed out, low-budged and planned with fun details we make ourselvess.

We've had luaus, 80s parties, dance parties, Fancy Nancy tea parties. It is to the point that last year the neighbor girl, when she got the invitation, asked her mother what she should wear.

My daughter picks her themes usually by the day after her last party. So imagine my surprise when, just a few months away, she still hadn't decided.

She toyed with an American Girl spa party, which I happily found pins for ideas for making fun thing like sparkle lip gloss and accessories for their dolls. (Truth be told: It was a great distraction from a harried project deadline at work.)

And then we realized one of her best friends does not play with dolls. Not wanting to have her feel left out, we went back to ideas.

My daughter considered a "Goddess Girls" themed birthday party as well. For those not in the know, "Goddess Girls" is a series about the Greek goddesses when they were in school. Sort of true to the mythology, except for little details like Artemis is boy crazy.

We realized we could make several of our ideas fit the theme too. For Aphrodite, who likes beauty, clothes and cheerleading (according to the stories), we could make the lip gloss and paint out nails. For Athena, who is wise, we could do a "wisdom challenge" (games). For Artemis, who likes sports and art, we could do outdoor games of some sort. For Persephone, who loves plants, we could add flower embellishments to jewelry or headbands. The only Goddess Girl we weren't going to embrace was Phoeme, who is into gossip.

But it still didn't fit right.

And then, on a car ride home, my daughter said: "Why can't we just have a water party?" She asked for a splash party in the backyard, lunch and ice cream cake.

Why not?

The perfect party may not be able to be pinned. It may just come from a child's imagination.

Let I learn that lesson....

Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint gooey chocolate cake recipe

Girl Scout Cookies have been my life this past month: It's the curse of the Girl Scout leader.

My dad's birthday was coming up, and we were trying to come up with a unique dessert for Papa's birthday celebration. I remember we used to buy my father Thin Mints for his birthday when we were kids, and so I was on the hunt for ideas on how we could use some of our extra boxes for a good cause.

Inspired by a post doing a takeoff on butter cake with Thin Mints and Andes Mint pieces, we came up with a recipe for an amazingly chocolately concoction that made the birthday boy happy. (Photo at right is it before its baked; it all melts together in gooey deliciousness)

Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint gooey chocolate cake
Ingredients
1 box chocolate cake mix
1 stick butter
1 large egg
1 (12 oz.) bag chocolate chips
1 small can sweetened condensed milk
1 box Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, broken into bits.

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 and spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray.
Beat cake mix, butter and egg until dough forms; spread into the pan. Top with chocolate chips then condensed milk. Sprinkle with the crushed Thin Mints.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes. Cool before enjoying.

DIY Darth Vader Pinata for Star Wars party

A Star Wars themed party means bright plans for a soon to be six year old. The biggest wish on the list these days is a pinata.

Trouble was I couldn't find one, and even the generic pinatas were at least $20 to $25 in prices. I shuddered to think what I would be asked to pay (and would refuse to do so) for a Star Wars themed one.

I stopped at a party store that was going out of business and found two lowly pinatas left in the store. 

Trouble was they were Transformer-themed. A problem...until you looked at it upside down. Then I saw a striking resemblance to Darth Vader himself.

Six dollars later I presented the birthday boy with a task: We were going to make a Darth Vader pinata for the party.

We used a lot of leftover acrylic paint (both navy and black, I confess) to layer over the old design.

 Both sides were painted solid black.

Then we added silver paint to copy off an image of Darth Vader off the Internet. It got the 5 year old stamp of approval.

When it dries, we'll add a new cord or wire for the new top and fill it up.

The next challenge? Convincing my son we shouldn't hang a pinata from a Christmas tree!

This posted linked to the More the Merrier Mondays and Nifty Thrifty Tuesday.

Rock star party cookies

Blinged-out buttery cookies for a rock star party are a must-have! It's also a great way to rid yourself of holiday sprinkles.

Rock star party cookies
2 cups butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. salt
5 cups flour
1 package Hershey Hugs
red decorator sugar (or any other decorator sprinkles)

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs until evenly mixed, then add vanilla and salt.

Stir in flour, about a third at a time, until blended.

Refrigerate dough if desired for easier handling.

Preheat oven to 375. Roll dough into balls, then roll balls into the red decorator sugar. Place on parchment paper on cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from oven, then lightly press an unwrapped Hershey's Hug in the middle of the cookie. Cool before eating.

American Doll clothes for pennies

Sophie is one admittedly unstylish American Girl knock-off.

Since she joined our family two years ago, she's gotten not one name-brand outfit.

Sure, Santa's bought her an outfit or two, and she got a Girl Scout sweatshirt for a birthday. But largely she's been spared of high-priced duds.

Lately my daughter has been begging for more clothes for Sophie. Admittedly these can quickly break the bank. But I found a simple solution: hand-sewn clothes for pennies.

Liberty Jane offers a small selection of free doll clothes patterns on its website. I downloaded the pants and tank top patterns and used some worn khaki shorts of mine to make a pair of pants and a pair of khaki shorts. Sophie also got several tank tops and T-shirts cut from a layered shirt she'd taken a pair of fabric scissors too, and she'll also be getting a swimsuit this Christmas season too.

The patterns are fairly easy for a rusty sewer to work with; in fact, I hand-sewed mine while catching up on Revolution. The only out-of-pocket costs were for elastic.

So if you have an hour to spare and an old piece of clothing, you might consider reinventing it as a Christmas present for your favorite American Girl-type doll.

Enough

Holiday shopping is stressful enough, but balancing a birthday in the mix can cause a bit of mommy guilt along the way. Today at the Green Phone Booth, I share my challenges in celebrating the birth of Christ and the birth of my son in the same week.

Happy birthday to me

The last time I really celebrated my birthday? I was 21 years old.

Birthdays, instead, have evolved to a day I spend with my loved ones, keeping it simple in a hectic life. So I was surprised the other day, when, while having cake with my department, someone asked me what I was doing for my birthday.

My husband was scheduled for work that night so I have kid duty, I explained.

Silence. As if there was something wrong with me for that remark.

Finally someone ventured, "Take the kids someplace where they eat free."

But I realize I would be outnumbered during the witching hour, and setting the expectation of perfect behavior in a booth just wasn't my idea of fun. Strangely enough, I'm more than content to make the salmon I've been meaning to cook from my freezer and let the kids enjoy their life.

So, yes, I have no major plans to celebrate #37. But I'm OK with that too. Because my favorite people will make it a party, in their own quirky kid ways.

Beach party birthday cakes

Our birthday beach party was a success! At the peak we had 34 happy kids playing games in the yard to celebrate my daughter's and a neighbor's birthdays. (We had some party crashers.)

The beach party theme was a bit downplayed due to the number of guests. We didn't decorate as we kept the kids outside, but my daughter's cakes stuck to the theme.

Her cake to blow out the candles was a simple one-layer 8-inch round cake, decorated with a flamingo that matched the napkins and plates. Not bad for someone who can't draw!

The cupcakes were decorated with paper drink umbrellas, with a little bit of sprinkles underneath for sand. (We are drowning in orange sprinkles thanks to my mother-in-law, and I'm glad they finally got some use!)

For daycare though, we took a safer option. With the Wrecking Crew (my son and his buddies), we didn't want to risk anyone poking each other with the toothpicks on the umbrellas. Instead, we took advantage of a few packs of strawberry marshmallows that came in a goodie bag from the other party we attended that weekend:

Sure, I could have bought cupcakes from the store that were more icing than cake, but making your own (especially if it's from a box) is amazingly simple! And it's so easy to personalize it too.

(Hidden) Raspberry Devil's Food Cupcakes - A recipe for cheaters

Rule No. 1 about making treats for school or daycare. Waiting until the last minute typically does not work, unless you're running through the checkout line.

I had great intentions about my daughter's cupcakes for daycare today. Planned a baking night for last night. Talked it up with my girl, down to how we'd decorate. And then reality hit: Later dinner than originally planned, stopped to chat with friends along our walk, need to scrub stinky cow smell off my kids (they went to a dairy farm for a field trip), and meltdowns thereafter.

The end result? Me waking up at the unholy time of 5:30 a.m. to crank out some cupcakes.

And it was with the best of intentions. I was prepared with my box mix and frosting picked out at the supermarket (I cave when it comes to daycare treats; the boxes are more tangible to my girl than a bunch of cocoa powder and powdered sugar!). I grab the eggs, the cake mix, and search for the vegetable oil.

And search. And search.

And we're out.

At this point I have two choices: Make a frantic run to the store, losing another half-hour, or run with it.

I ran. After all, you can always sub out applesauce, right?

Except I had no plain applesauce. I had blueberry pomegrante and raspberry acai. Not for the faint of heart! I reason that with enough frosting, no child will care, and I grab the raspberry acai, which in the container has a powerful flavor. (There's no "hint" of raspberry there.). I mix one 1/2-cup container raspberry applesauce with the cake mix, 3 eggs and 1 1/3 c. water and baked according to directions. Turned out beautiful. No strong raspberry taste to it.

I think we can celebrate after all!

Birthday blues

I'll admit to having had a lot of anxiety this week over birthdays. Namely, my daughter and a neighbor's. And I feel at times like a big party pooper.

It all started innocently enough. My neighbor, a good friend of ours, innocently brought up the idea of a joint birthday celebration. It's summer, many of his friends' sisters play with my children, and it kind of made sense. We'd split the food, have a relatively relaxing evening and God willing, the weather would cooperate and the kids could go outside.

And then reality hit. My idea of "friends and family" and hers weren't exactly the same. The world is her friend, and I prefer smaller get-togethers of a few closer friends. Add in that only one of my daughter's school friends could attend, and I was starting to have major anxiety. The last thing I want is for my daughter to feel left out on "her" day.

A coworker suggested I just buy her more little presents from the dollar store to make her feel like she has something to open. I disagree. No matter how much or how little we have in life, I want to emphasize quality, and appreciation, not quantity.

Instead, she and I talked about how great this was going to be that she'd have a few special friends, and we adults started planning age-neutral games that we could do outside. The fact my daughter wanted a "beach" theme opened the doors to creative outlets for their energy. My sitter even chipped in with a limbo pole that had been bought with great intentions years ago. At least it was getting used.

The treats for guests? A combination of found items - leis and inflatable beach balls, leftover from a months-ago community event and destined for the trash when our co-workers finally got motivated to clean the storeroom. I encouraged my co-hostess friend to pick up water guns, which would at least get used by the neighbor kids in our July heat, instead of a bag of crappy little rings and such, and I hope we can come up with some creative non-plastic baggie packaging.

Twenty-four hours ago, I admit I was anxious, losing sleep about whether my daughter would enjoy her big day. Today, with a little planning, a little creativity, and realizing I have the best daughter ever (who wanted to invite a pal for her baby brother!) I think we'll be just fine.

Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again...

Party planning is on the mind of my soon-to-be 6 year old, and this year, I'm stumped as she tosses out themes like Mamma Mia and rainbow parties. Today at the Green Phone Booth, we're talking about fun, resource- and budget-friendly ideas for birthday celebrations. Join the conversation!

Fancy Nancy party on a budget - and no one cares

Fancy Nancy birthday parties - they're a budget-buster waiting to happen.

Yes, you can do your Fancy Nancy party all swagged out. And believe me, it's tempting. If you've read her stories, they're replete with boas, bows, sparkly things, tutus and accessories gallore. Truthfully, a call to excess.

But we kicked up the creativity and with a little help from the second-hand shop, had a Fancy Nancy tea party where the guests were crying about leaving three hours later. Here's how we did it:

Invest in fine china. Or not so fine. It doesn't matter whether your dishes match or not. We went to Goodwill and bought tea cups, china plates, cordial glasses for mini parfait glasses, and linens, all at a price likely cheaper than disposable plates with curly-headed girls on them. Tres fancy. (The best part? No worries about it being broken, and they've been "returned" to Goodwill as freshly washed donations.)

Design it for dress-ups. Let's be honest. Every little girl's fancy dress gets worn once or twice and handed down to someone else. And we had more Sunday dresses than we knew what to do with (even with donating quite a few of them already). So we purposely hung on to a half-dozen or so, laid them out in my daughter's room, and let the girls who didn't come tea-party ready dress up if they desired.

Have a "fancy" feast. Our "tea sandwiches" were nothing more than flower-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The girls also enjoyed mini fruit kebabs on toothpicks, jelly roll sandwiches and cut vegetables and dip. Dessert was cupcakes and a make-your-parfait bar. A simple menu tweaked to be fancy enough for five year olds.

Tap into those creative juices. Let your guests design something fancy, as opposed to just giving them a bag of lip glosses and plastic clip-on earrings. Preschool and early school-age girls are into doing their hair already, and so we bought plain headbands and jewel stickers for them to make their own fancy headbands. It kept them busy for a few minutes, and it gave them something fun and mildly useful to take home.

Watch the waste. Yes, I sprung for boas at the craft store, but realized that those 6-foot boas really could be cut in half for each girl. (Cheaper, and safer too.) And we opted to cut a craft I'd considered, simply because I forgot to prep it. (But really, did we need paper butterfly placemats? It wasn't missed.)

Let the good times roll. Sometimes, the best things are unplanned. I really regret the fact I didn't get photos of the girls, in their fancy dresses, when they ran outside for an impromptu game of soccer.

Was the party a success? I think so. My daughter thinks so. Worse, she's already put in a request for next year: a "Mamma Mia" party.

Fancy Nancy party prep: Gearing up for the big day

Fancy Nancy tea party. It's all we have talked about in our home for weeks. What to make. What to do. How to decorate. And today, the big day arrives.

And we're ready, or close to it. Our dining room will be fabulously decorated by my soon-to-be 5 year old, who was given free rein at Goodwill to do her best. So she shopped. And shopped. And shopped last Saturday.

She bought tea cups. And china plates. And pink cloth napkins. And a flowery tablecloth. And a tea pot. And cobalt-blue votive candle holders. And cordial glasses for her parfaits. And a stem of silk yellow flowers, shooting me a look of "This is non-negotiable."

I chuckle at her decisions and wonder to myself how in the world is this going to look. But I realize in the end, it's her party. And she has a definite idea of where it's going!

Paying for parties: Now I get it

Shelling out two, three hundred dollars or more to celebrate your child's birthday was something I didn't get.

Until I had kids.

Somehow, the existence of the plural - that second child - and the realities of how quickly they could rip up your home made that party place concept all make sense. We don't want people in our homes, because we're terrified for people to see them. And, frankly, parties take work. The planning, the shopping, the cooking...and frankly, as a society, we're a want-it-now people, and we want to skip to the good stuff.

But here's the deal. The process can be just as fun as the main event. Take Christmas. I for one, love the preparations, the waiting, the expectations. And frankly, the unwrapping of gifts is only a few minutes of the entire season. I feel the same this year for my daughter.

For weeks we've talked about the Fancy Nancy tea party extraordinairre. And while page after page of Web sites share over-the-top ways to swag up your daughters, from swag bags overflowing with gifts and makeovers to fanciful, flowing tulle everywhere, we're taking a lower-key tone to the affair. But to her, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, she's having a tea party with her friends. And the company is what counts.

Fancy Nancy tea party: Coming soon!

Another fabulous contribution from the Green Eyed Monster, who is counting down the days until 5...

I want a Fancy Nancy tea party birthday. Mommy and I are going shopping today. I will have friends over and lots of people. We will cook parfaits. We will dance. I think that's all in my story.

Parental clarification:

The cool thing about a "Fancy Nancy" themed tea party is that the books are about a precoscious little girl who plays dress-up and uses big words and her imagination. So it's a fun opportunity to hit the resale shops for old tea cups, linens and decorative items and dress-ups! We'll write more about how we did it after next weekend's soiree.

Birthday balance

A friend e-mailed the other day, inviting our family to a birthday celebration. In it she wrote:

It will be very low-key. No goodie bags or bounce castles. And no gifts,
please. ### won't be opening gifts at the party, and we are trying to teach her
that having a party with her friends is a gift, too.

It's heartening to read messages like these, though it's sad we have to apologize for not having the event of the season, complete with souveneirs. When we teach our kids at 4, 5, or 6 that they can have exquisite events, tons of things and activities galore, maybe they miss out of the thrill of getting something they've actually waited to receive.

And yes, I realize I write this while I'm planning a Fancy Nancy party for the Big Five -- our first major themed birthday extraordinaire. But there's a difference in creating a fun celebration and an ordeal. It's one thing to play tea party and let the girls dress up, it's another to give my child's friends makeovers and send them home with "swag bags" complete with accessories and kiddie makeup galore, as one party site suggested. In all honesty, I'll likely let them get all sugared up and then run around and burn off the energy. Not exactly high class, but they'll have fun...and maybe sleep well for their parents that night!

How do you find the balance between celebrating a major life event and not going overboard?

Have your cake and see it too

Because I got a few e-mails and posts wanting to see photos of my cake job, here's what a little icing (and a bad photoshopping job to remove a name) can do:

Luckily everyone - the birthday boy included - knew what it was!

The Pantry Challenge: Great Cake Edition

Last weekend, our family celebrated my son's 25th. As in, the Christmastime baby's finally getting his due, a month after the fact...

And that can only mean one thing: Cake.

As my oldest is very much into the birthday thing, she'd prod her brother daily as to what kind of cake he'd want. "Do you want a Thomas cake? Do you want a dinosaur cake?"

And, being two, he'd say yes.

Which led me to a minor panic. I've never been one to shell out for a store-bought cake, but I struggled to find any kind of cake decoration that would work. Apparently the sugared decorations you'd buy in the store when I was a child no longer existed. I gave up after several stores. I half-heartedly looked for a train or dinosaur pan at resale shops. I flirted with how I could make a train that wrapped around a round cake.

But Friday came, and I had to do something.

And I stared at the cake aisle at Target, eyes glazed over as I glanced over the different types of decorating options (yes, even a can that comes with its own decorating tops you can toss), and I realized, I can do this myself. I'm a big girl. I can mix eggs and oil and a box mix. At that point, why not bake it myself?

So I grabbed some eggs, some powdered sugar, butter, ice cream and a small tube of icing and decorator tops (no sense buying them more than once). It cost less than the mix, frosting and assorted items to add in the baking process. And Saturday morning, I went to work.

And strangely enough, my homemade (hand-drawn, even) dinosaur cake turned out ok.

Lest you think it's a fluke, it's amazingly simple to bake your own cake and mix your own frosting. Most of the ingredients are likely in your pantry.

In fact, I think the frosting is better and easier to spread than anything bought off the shelf!

Here's our success story, adapted from an old Better Homes & Gardens cookbook:

Giradelli Chocolate Chip Cake

2 cups flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup milk

5 egg whites

12-oz. package Giradelli chocolate chips (how these survived a stay in my pantry past the holidays, one only knows...)

Grease and flour two 9" cake pans.

Combine flour, baking powder and salt.

In mixer, beat butter, sugar and vanilla until fluffly.

Add dry ingredients and milk alternatly to beaten mixture, keeping on low speed.

Wash beaters.

In small bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Gently fold into flour mixture with the chocolate chips. Pour into pans.

Bake at 375 for 20 minutes or until cake tests done. Cool at least 10 minutes before removing from pans.

White frosting

1 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 teaspoons venilla

4 1/2 (ish) cups powdered sugar

3 to 4 tablespoons milk.

Beat butter and vanilla on medium spead for 30 seconds. Gradually add half of the powdered sugar, beating well, then half of the milk. Blend in rest of the powdered sugar then enough milk to make it spreading consistency.