Is "routine" like "balance" - just a dream?

Six weeks into life as a real two-income family (as opposed to that one or 1.25), we're starting to find our way. OK, truthfully, it's a lot of baby steps. And missteps at that. My kids are slowly getting used to Dad being out for odd hours, missing mealtimes and bedtimes and weekends, and being there (quite grouchily) for the morning routine. We've battled meltdowns and arguments and trouble at school and daycare. But that too is finally slowing down. Yet I'm still feeling unsettled. I haven't had to think about cooking dinner for nearly three years. That's a long time. And it's tough when the kids walk in the door at 6 to start fixing dinner. Laundry piles up faster. So do the dishes. Not to mention the clutter. Bedtimes take longer too, as do strangely the mornings. Truthfully, I feel like I've replaced one stressor - underemployment - with another: trying to keep the house afloat. And this is one thing I should be able to control but it just isn't happening. So I ask: Is "routine" just a pipe dream? Is it like the wishful "balance" - just something placed in front of us to never quite feel satisfied?