Things they don't teach you as a parent:
1. Resigning your season's worth onion sets to a game of "Let's throw the onions in the dirt" buys you five minutes to do something you really did want to do in the garden.
2. Not correcting your proud potty-training toddler's decision to put on his pants backwards has the dual benefit of making him confident with his accomplishment and slowing him down as he tries to race out of your yard.